I take great interest in working with exceptional individuals and organizations challenged to perform at a high level while being subjected to harmful, and often malicious, criticism. There’s a hard line between criticism and feedback. Feedback is designed to assist an individual or group where the sole motivation is to help others.
Quite simply, criticism destroys relationships and effectiveness. Feedback builds, empowers, and validates people toward goal attainment.
Criticism, I have found, is a tool favored by individuals whose measurement of self-worth is established by measuring another’s abilities, contribution and efforts against their own. To increase (and decrease) their own perception of self, they attempt to manipulate the perception of others in an effort to change their own status. Humans, to my knowledge, have the franchise on this activity. Strangely, the activity flourishes even though there is no clear benefit in the long run and the end result is the loss of trust. When trust levels are high in an organization or relationship, the speed of achievement and delivery goes up, and costs go down. When trust is low in any relationship, the speed of successful accomplishment goes down, and costs go up.
In his book, “Anyway – The Paradoxical Commandments”, Kent M. Keith articulates ten principles. Published in the 60’s, the ten tenets continue to be quoted, circulated, taped to computer monitors, refrigerator doors, and even found on the wall of Mother Theresa’s children’s home in Calcutta.
Anyway, the Paradoxical Commandments speak for themselves:
1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
-Love them anyway.
2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
-Do good anyway.
3. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
-Succeed anyway.
4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
-Do good anyway.
5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
-Be honest and frank anyway.
6. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down
by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
-Think BIG anyway.
7. People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
-Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
-Build anyway.
9. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
-Help people anyway.
10. Give the world the best you have and you will get kicked in the teeth.
-Give the world the best you have anyway.
